Hot Mess Mom Manifesto (or Hacking it as a Hot Mess)

I am here to talk about the Hot Mess Mom. You know the mom that comes to school drop off in her fleece pajama pants, drawstring untied, hanging ever so wistfully down the front? She may or may not still have on the same shirt that she had on when she picked up her kid from school the previous day. This is me. I am the mom that instead of following the “5 second” rule follows the “is there anything stuck to it?” rule.


Some parents make cute animal cutouts of their kid's sandwiches, while I'm over here cutting my kid’s into two rectangles. Because basic shapes are important too, damnit! Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll get a little adventurous and give triangles a whirl, but only if I’m feeling sassy. I guess it's like the pick-your-battles thing: there are just some parenting skills I don't have the energy nor the motivation for. I will bake the kids a delicious, tiered cake from scratch, but I will not decorate it. I simply do not enjoy that part of baking, so I don't do it.

We all have our passions. If I have any extra “me” time, I would rather drink some coffee and catch up on my book, rather than bother with fixing my hair or putting on any makeup. Do I feel embarrassed when I run into a “put together” mom that I know in the store? Sometimes. I'll admit that I occasionally wish I could have all of my shit together like some of these other moms do. But that's the thing. NONE of us have ALL of our shit together. We are all survivors, trying to juggle the demands of the day while our kids are tugging on our proverbial shirt strings. They are so needy, aren't they? We are all making miracles happen out of impossible situations. We're like MAGICIANS. Super cool ones.

While granola mom is making sure to only feed her kids organic, non-GMO foods, I'm over here adding yellow #5 to my mac-n-cheese to make it look more “cheesy”. But that's okay. There are all kinds of good parenting priorities out there, with all kinds of people practicing them, and none are any less than the other. We are all on the same team. We are all trying to keep our kiddos alive and prospering. So instead of criticizing each other, let's try holding each other up. God knows I need all the support I can get.