Why the Term "Christian" Has Lost All Meaning to Me
A bit of backstory; I was raised in Christian household. By that I mean we went to church every Sunday (even on vacation unless we were camping), prayed before every meal, I went to youth group when I was old enough, went on missions trips, I even went to Bible College for a year right after High School. This also meant we thought of ourselves as very good people.
I stopped going to church after moving from Chilliwack to Calgary with my first husband because I got a job in retail so I worked most Sundays. By the time I got a Mon - Fri job it was just easy not to go.
Then that marriage ended, my “good Christian marriage” was over and everything I had grown up believing was false.
Now we come to present day, I’ve remarried and have a baby girl who is about to turn one. We still don’t go to church simply because my husband and I don’t think it’s necessary to sit in a room for 45 minutes having someone tell us how to live our lives based on their interpretation of the Bible.
My parents however are still firmly rooted in the “go to Church” rhetoric that seems to also include judging everyone.
This is why the word has lost meaning to me. It’s not about how often you go to church, how much you tithe, if you wait for marriage to have sex or don’t use swear words. To be a Christian is be “Christ-like” well, to my recollection, that means not judging people (Matthew 7:1), serving your community and helping the less fortunate. Now when I say they judge I mean ev-er-y-one for anything. I can only imagine what my mom told my dad about the state of our house once she went home last year after being out here when my daughter was born.
What really made it click for me was when they were out last week looking at places to possibly move here. They went to my brother’s place for a couple days before heading home and the first thing my mom texts me at about 7pm was that they “still hadn’t had dinner” and that my sister in-law had gone to get one of my nieces from skating. I have four nieces. My sister-in-law also runs a B&B. So the fact my mom had the fucking audacity to complain that they hadn’t had dinner - when they could very well have made it - infuriated me to no end. I had various responses like “maybe you could help the busy mother of four” and “you could offer to cook, serve like Jesus did”.
I ended up leaving it alone because I didn’t want to deal with the fallout that inevitably would occur if I had responded.
I don’t know if we’ll start going to church again, maybe if we can find one that is accepting of LGBTQ people because that’s something I refuse to budge on. When we have lots of money (I can dream can’t I?) I want to have a big house where we can house LGBTQ youth that have been either kicked out of their homes or don’t feel safe in them. Because no-one should have to go through that because of something not seen as “normal”.
Eventually Violet will start to ask questions about God and I don’t know how we’ll handle them but we will. But in the meantime we will teach her to accepting of people, treat them with respect, and in general to be a good person. Because when it comes down to it, that’s what being a Christian should be about.