Letter from the Editor aka Feeling a Little #Barf About December
When I started planning out the very beginnings of Candor, I spoke to my dear friends E. Tempesta and Lindsay McNamara about what was to come for the remainder of 2018. Monthly themes seemed to be a good idea so we chose “celebration” for December. It makes sense, right? There are approximately 45,000 American Holidays in this 12th month of the year and at least twice as many holiday parties for Christmas alone. On a personal note, my birthday is on the 20th! Then of course there is December 31st, when we will laugh, dance and drink the night away on the precipice that leads into the great unknown of the new year. What isn’t there to celebrate?
I mentioned in last month’s editor’s note that I had a childhood dream of becoming president, but I also considered working in media as an entertaining backup plan. There have been various times in my life that I thought being an editor-in-chief would be THE COOLEST JOB. I remember when Atoosa Rubenstein became the editor-in-chief of Seventeen magazine and how much her honesty and authenticity were pretty new concepts for my acne-ridden self. I hunted down one of these letters and pulled a few excerpts into one paragraph, because I think they sum up how I’m feeling this month:
“I always blab on about how our magazine is real. So in the spirit of that: I’m in a foul mood today....do you ever feel pressure to be perfectly sweet? And I’m not suggesting to be a horse’s behind to people! But just...honor your inner voice. Don’t always silence her or punish her.”
All of this to say that...I don’t feel really freakin’ celebratory this month. I don’t feel like rolling around to every Christmas party with a brave face, I don’t feel like volunteering extra, and I’ll admit that I’m not feeling particularly “perfectly sweet.” This year has been hard and I think most of us feel that. We’ve been reminded even more how much racism is not a thing of the past, how much our political leaders aren’t hearing our voices, and just how many women are #MeToo. I want to rethink this theme for December. Is it too late?? HELP!
I’m publishing this letter four days late because I really needed some time to settle into this theme of celebration. I needed to reframe it because I don’t think celebrating in December Twenty Eighteen should be about gritting our teeth at idiotic parties that we don’t want to go to, and acting like our relatives aren’t racist. I think what I can personally celebrate, and what I can invite all of you to celebrate, is where we’ve been, where we are, and where we are going. More specifically, I can be grateful for this project. Here’s a toast to Candor. I celebrate where it’s been, where it’s headed, and the people it represents.