BREAKING NEWS Ankle Scarves; A Look Inside an Unusual Trend That's Sweeping the Nation

Everyone’s talking about ankle scarves, including Candor staff: are they real? Is this satire? What is it satirizing? Well, here’s something you didn’t expect: I’D WEAR THOSE BAD BOYS.

First of all: yeah, it’s satire. I traced it back through some dopey lifestyle magazine to an Italian webpage, whence I learned it had been translated from German satire page Der Postillon. Okay, facts checked. Moving on.

But while waiting for that Italian link to load, I had the fleeting thought of course they’re real, and of course they’re Italian. And then, to my own actual shock: I could see myself in those. As with everything except Beyoncé herself, science has an explanation for this one: I am a delightful melange of Italian, southern, and soft butch bisexual. Y’all, I LOVE wearing my oxfords and my cuffed trousers, I love frivolous scarves, and I h8888888 being cold. I THINK ANKLE SCARVES IS A GOOD IDEA.

Someone was probably on some anti-Millenial “kids these days” bullshit with this post, but they didn’t see me coming. Here I am. I love your idea. Let’s talk.