The Top 5 Holiday Movies
Kelli Wilson with help from Mr. Kelli Wilson
Not every holiday thing has to be sweet and meaningful. These comedy classics from my childhood (and beyond) have stood and will continue to stand the test of time in my house, easily translating to each new generation, like a grandma that figured out how to troll people on the internet.
The quintessential “road to hell is paved with the best intentions” story. An underachieving father seeks to win his son over by purchasing a cute “Mogwai” off the Chinese black market as a Christmas gift. It comes with a strict set of rules that, it turns out, keep it from spawning cackling toddler demons. When Corey Feldman breaks one, the entire town is plunged into the most brutal PG horror film of all time.
Favorite Quote: “They’re watching Snow White. And they love it” – Billy
A Christmas Story (1983)
Obviously. Timeless Americana in a coming to age story, this film gives us a boy’s first person narration as he struggles to obtain a Red Rider BB Gun. It covers parenting, school issues, sibling rivalry, bullying, and age-appropriate onesies. During the holiday season, TNT becomes this movie for an entire week.
Favorite Quote: “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.” – Santa Claus
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
SURELY one of the greatest comedic masterpieces of all time, Christmas Vacation is one of those films that if you have not seen it, you live unaware that it’s being quoted around you, every day of the year, by everyone you know. This film is Chevy Chase’s magnum opus, as he portrays a father who just wants to bring his large family together for a Christmas dinner, and is willing to pay any price.
Favorite Quote: “Merry Christmas! Shitter’s Full!” – Cousin Eddie
A romantic “where do I belong” comedy that showcases the best of Will Farrell and New York City. I say the best because in this PG-rated movie, Will’s not allowed to use language or nudity as crutches. But by translating his comedy into family friendly waters in silly, sugar-shocked style, he showed us all that there’s more to his craft than cowbells.
Favorite Quote: “You sit on a throne of lies!” – Buddy
Home Alone (1990)
So you think you’re a bad parent? Try flying your entire family out to Paris for the holiday and not realizing you left your son at home until mid-flight. In this classic cat-and-mouse comedy, Macaulay Culkin is left to fend off two burglars by rigging his house with death traps. The difference between UPS and this film is that Home Alone delivers. [Editor’s Note: OH SNAP]
Favorite Quote: “Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” – Kevin, lipsyncing