A Doggone Trollin' Shame

Erma Pittsy

Recently punch drunk from the repetitive blows of sleeplessness my nineteen month old son hurled at my psyche during a particularly rough bout of teething, I inadvertently ended up trolling a good friend of mine who had just adopted a puppy.

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Now, It absolutely was not my original intention to flood her thread with the same completely useless advice that exhausted parents face almost daily. After all, she makes me laugh daily, I consider her a friend, and I didn’t want her to unfriend me. Or buy my baby a puppy.

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But once I started, I could not stop myself. And for a couple of minutes I thought that I should really just leave this poor exhausted lady alone and let her get some actual help. Until she replied:

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Game. On.

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I confessed to some of my friends what I was doing, and of course the responses varied across the spectrum, from the comical—

to the extra “helpful”—

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to everything in between—

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After all, I

—doesn’t everyone? Each of us—of course—had the best interest of her new fur-baby at heart, though:

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It wasn’t long until her friends, who had began chiming in on her thread with actual, useful advice, noticed what I was doing. And let me just tell you, they made it pretty clear that they were not going to let me get away with it...alone. One friend even came directly to my page. I gleefully accepted her friend request, at which point she suggested that our mutual friend rock the puppy to sleep. And like every desperately dog-tired (see what I did there?) parent, she enthusiastically added:

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But I had an alternative suggestion:

And since she had already, I felt like it was imperative then that I also remind her of the alternative:

Another of her friends offered this helpful hint—

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— which meant that I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t offer a word of caution.

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Another friend was convinced that the puppy would be fine:

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But what kind of soldier in the Mommy Wars would I be if I just stood by and let that one go without argument?

Eventually like all trolls, I had had about as much fun as I could and also, I had other stuff to do. Because it was all in good fun, I needed to make sure to thank her incredibly entertaining peeps for so enthusiastically encouraging the hilarity, and of course my beautiful friend for being such an amazingly good sport.

But mostly, I just really didn't want her to buy my baby a puppy.

(A special thanks to Steph, the target of this trolling session. Please help us thank her for this hilarity by checking out her blog, linked above.)

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